Thursday, June 19, 2008


Hey everybody sorry I haven't written for days just been very busy in getting my priorties in line. Last Sunday was fun the whole family came over for carne asada D had me go buy it since it was fathers day and something about my family being there made the day a whole lot better and exciting cuz fathers day has never really been important to me because I never really had mine around.As the day went by it turned out to be a day of joy and laughter. After that everybody left D and I had a relaxing rest of the night we watched a movie and I think I was more tired then I thought I passed out before 9 very good day! The days have been getting a little harder because my man still hasnt found a job he has an interview tomorrow morning so I'm hoping this is the one. I have been thinkin so much that I have come to realize that I want my life to get better from this day forward I dont want to regret not knowing that my future could and would of been successful and a great future ahead of me. My means something to me now because before I used to do some awful things to hurt myself and some of you might not want to here these kind of things but hey its my blog and if it offends you go to a different website were grown!JK I'm not that mean lol.. (but im tellin the truth)I used to cut and as well take a lot of sleeping pills hoping I wouldn't wake up the next day god kept me around which im very greatful as well I used to drink and other things I'm not naming but D helped through all of it so I owe him so much and my family and him are my motivation to be here with them and make my life better and I also want to share a poem I wrote a couple months back its all about what describes me and the person I never was.






When you look through my eyes what do you see?
I’ll tell you, you see life.
You see a girl longing to stay innocent in a world of impurity. You see a young woman trying to prove her worth to those around her. You see a woman, striving to accomplish her dreams in a dreamless world. When you look through my eyes, what do you see? I’ll tell you. You see my world; you see friends and family that would stand with me against any force. You see a vision of happiness that will never die. When you look through my eyes, what do you see? I’ll tell you, you see me. You see me in my adolescence, trying to find out who I am and where I belong. You see me struggling with my feelings, not knowing which one fits me best. You see me learning the many lessons of love, and failing most of them. When you look through my eyes, what do you see? I’ll tell you. You see darkness; you see the shadows dancing around me, mocking my very soul. You see the darkness blinding my sight, carrying me deeper into its depth. When you look through my eyes, what do you see? I’ll tell you, you see everything I see.

I'll write some more tomorrow and I promise to keep up just been very hectic.. I love you guys you just dont know that I do! lol

Thursday, June 12, 2008

My day today was very depressing and Boring



To everyone that ready my blog Just might want to let you guys know this might be pretty boring but I don't have many people to talk to so I write.... Today went pretty slow for me I woke up kind of early and didn't have much to do but Watch tv or be on the net especially gas being so high and being broke especially.My uncle Robert did call me a couple times I really hope he gets the job he's hoping to get(I'm praying for you Rob I know your gonna get it good luck)after that all I can think about is D my fiance he went to go see about a job yesterday that said that they hired him on the spot,but he went this morning and they told him that they didn't like he drove so they didn't want to hire him anymore. Things are getting so tough for us and were living with my mom and my grandmother sure were saving money but to much drama hopefully our dearest heavenly father will bless us with something great very soon. D is so depressed as soon as he got home he just felt like crying and fell asleep I have never seen him like that it hurts me so much.. But after that we did go to get pizza at little ceasers(its not Barros but it is only 5 bucks you cant beat that)My Grandmother came back from Texas this afternoon she went to see her sister Margo before she passed away she came with a lot of stories to tell us it was sad but she's in a better place now. I helped my grandma with a couple of things in the living room it turned out good. Well that was pretty much may day for today hopefully tomorrow will be a little exciting going to sun splash heck yeah. goodnight everyone!