What a hectic month!

So hey everybody I know I haven't been on but ive been so busy w/ getting things done around the house and try to keep my family happy so I dont here their mouths.. so I have stopped drinking soda especially Dr.Pepper but ill get over I have been doing for 2 weeks and also working out everyday so I can look great in my dress. So one thing everybody has to know that as soon as D and I get married we are moving to st.Louis for good I dont mind but im leaving everything behind and very far from the family Ill get used to it just hope the family loves me I already love them.. anyways D and I have been doin a lot more since we have been cooped up in this house so we did go see BATMAN THE DARK NIGHT I was such a great movie and I wouldn't mind goin to see it again but that was a couple days ago when it came out but we did go to amazing jakes this past weekend it was to have the family there especially D ive never seen him enjoy himself as much but my whole family loves him especially the cousins which is great
I love family getherings is when I feel safe and loved.. So I finally starting to get my life together and do the things I need to do to make my future better and yesterday D and I had great news!!! D got a job which he really needs b/c we are struggling like crazy only bad thing is he has to stay in glendale while he works so I pretty much wont be seeing him for the whole week only the weekends I get to see him it's just hard to be apart from him but things are gonna get better b/c we just have to have faith in ourselves and in the things that we want down the road things are gonna finally change for us and even though we are moving away from the family it's gonna do us some good and maybe a start of a great future. Life can be messy,unpredictable and yet great at the same time so no matter when things may seem like they are bad they can be great b/c you have the people that care and love you to hold you up... I love me and everything else thats in my life!love you guys! ~goodnight~

so tired.....

So today I kind of got a lil mad at my hubby because he was gonna go stay in Glendale and I didnt want him to I made a big deal out of it. But he was just gonna stay there because his job is right down the street which I do understand and dont get me wrong I trust him. I just dont like sleepin by myself and I get worried bout him because I dont know how his friends are or what he gets into, I guess I just always miss him like crazy and I dont know what I would do without him he's such a great guy so I talked it over with him and told him he can go which I didnt want him to... but anyways ive been putting apps everywhere to find a better job im just thinkin about goin to school for nursing so I can be successful in something and help my babe wit the bills and I know its gonna work out cuz our relationship has gotten so much better and im grateful that I stuck with this man..well there wasn't much that happened today just very boring and been pretty lazy I did clean up just not upto doin anything cant do much when your broke.. well I think im gonna crash very boring and tired today ill talk about something more interesting stuff tomorrow.. sweet dreams and god bless...

things around here aren't easy....but they do get better!

Well today went by kind of fast and kind of boring I was on the computer pretty much all day I did figure out how to set up a printer which D thinks I cant figure out much but I did prove him wrong like always..lol.. it's getting hard living wit the fam but what can I say we have to tough it out till we save up some money and sometimes I feel like giving up all the faith I have but one thing that I keep to myself is by learning how to do somethin and staying strong is by having faith and be confident in what you do most people say that they can't do anything right and give up immediately but thats not how it should be, because then your gonna go your whole life thinkin you cant do anything and always gonna give up and not succeed in the future just pray and believe in yourself and the things you want to happen in your life will come true maybe not at that very moment but it will.. I love everything of me and everything I have even though things aren't going as planned it will get better one of these days some of our problems will clear up not all issues will be gone because we are always gonna have them but just keep your head up and everything will be alright.. god will always be with you!

It's been so long but im back!

Hey Everyone I know it's been a couple days that I haven't been on but let's just say things have been a little hectic around here.. but good news my hubby did get a job im so happy for him cuz he has been getting a lil lazy..lol.. but I guess now he wants to get in good shape now he did gain some weight but his excuse is the dryer shrunk his clothes ha.. anyways now we are catching up on some bills and finally getting on the right path. The last couple of days have been good I got to hang out with my cousins which I love them to death and would rather be wit them anyday there my lil rugrats hopefully when D and I get things in order we can start our own family cuz I love kids more then anything I know he would be very excited.. on to something else over the weekend I did speak with d's sister Sandra she sounded very nice can't wait wait to meet his family it is kind of weird and wrong that his family isn't goin to be there for the wedding I haven't even met his parents hopefully soon... we might be goin to see them for the honeymoon we'll see he wants to move us up there its just going to be tough leaving my family but I go wherever he goes.. Well im getting a little tired i'll catch you guys up some more tomorrow alright here are some new pics of the cousins.. .love ya all and god bless sweet dreams!

Hey everybody sorry I haven't written for days just been very busy in getting my priorties in line. Last Sunday was fun the whole family came over for carne asada D had me go buy it since it was fathers day and something about my family being there made the day a whole lot better and exciting cuz fathers day has never really been important to me because I never really had mine around.As the day went by it turned out to be a day of joy and laughter. After that everybody left D and I had a relaxing rest of the night we watched a movie and I think I was more tired then I thought I passed out before 9 very good day! The days have been getting a little harder because my man still hasnt found a job he has an interview tomorrow morning so I'm hoping this is the one. I have been thinkin so much that I have come to realize that I want my life to get better from this day forward I dont want to regret not knowing that my future could and would of been successful and a great future ahead of me. My means something to me now because before I used to do some awful things to hurt myself and some of you might not want to here these kind of things but hey its my blog and if it offends you go to a different website were grown!JK I'm not that mean lol.. (but im tellin the truth)I used to cut and as well take a lot of sleeping pills hoping I wouldn't wake up the next day god kept me around which im very greatful as well I used to drink and other things I'm not naming but D helped through all of it so I owe him so much and my family and him are my motivation to be here with them and make my life better and I also want to share a poem I wrote a couple months back its all about what describes me and the person I never was.






When you look through my eyes what do you see?
I’ll tell you, you see life.
You see a girl longing to stay innocent in a world of impurity. You see a young woman trying to prove her worth to those around her. You see a woman, striving to accomplish her dreams in a dreamless world. When you look through my eyes, what do you see? I’ll tell you. You see my world; you see friends and family that would stand with me against any force. You see a vision of happiness that will never die. When you look through my eyes, what do you see? I’ll tell you, you see me. You see me in my adolescence, trying to find out who I am and where I belong. You see me struggling with my feelings, not knowing which one fits me best. You see me learning the many lessons of love, and failing most of them. When you look through my eyes, what do you see? I’ll tell you. You see darkness; you see the shadows dancing around me, mocking my very soul. You see the darkness blinding my sight, carrying me deeper into its depth. When you look through my eyes, what do you see? I’ll tell you, you see everything I see.

I'll write some more tomorrow and I promise to keep up just been very hectic.. I love you guys you just dont know that I do! lol

My day today was very depressing and Boring

To everyone that ready my blog Just might want to let you guys know this might be pretty boring but I don't have many people to talk to so I write.... Today went pretty slow for me I woke up kind of early and didn't have much to do but Watch tv or be on the net especially gas being so high and being broke especially.My uncle Robert did call me a couple times I really hope he gets the job he's hoping to get(I'm praying for you Rob I know your gonna get it good luck)after that all I can think about is D my fiance he went to go see about a job yesterday that said that they hired him on the spot,but he went this morning and they told him that they didn't like he drove so they didn't want to hire him anymore. Things are getting so tough for us and were living with my mom and my grandmother sure were saving money but to much drama hopefully our dearest heavenly father will bless us with something great very soon. D is so depressed as soon as he got home he just felt like crying and fell asleep I have never seen him like that it hurts me so much.. But after that we did go to get pizza at little ceasers(its not Barros but it is only 5 bucks you cant beat that)My Grandmother came back from Texas this afternoon she went to see her sister Margo before she passed away she came with a lot of stories to tell us it was sad but she's in a better place now. I helped my grandma with a couple of things in the living room it turned out good. Well that was pretty much may day for today hopefully tomorrow will be a little exciting going to sun splash heck yeah. goodnight everyone!